


High Crimes and Misdemeanors

by Gamebird



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age of Resistance comic inspired, Blysma doesn't exist, Canon-Compliant, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Sex Pollen, Stranded, alien shrooms, dubious consent due to sex pollen but otherwise enthusiastic about it, huddle for warmth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 22:41:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20454728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gamebird/pseuds/Gamebird
Summary: Inspired by the Age of Resistance comic, Hux #1.Hux and Kylo are stranded on a planet, then separated. Hux believes Ren is dead. With his poor woodcraft skills and a concussion, Hux builds a campfire using mind-altering fungus. When Ren turns up alive, Hux assumes he's a hallucination and has sex with him. The morning after is suitably awkward.





	High Crimes and Misdemeanors

**Author's Note:**

> In the comic, Kylo and Hux crash on a remote planet. Kylo uses the Force to save himself. Everyone else dies except Hux, whom Kylo just happened to be next to. Kylo insists he didn't save Hux accidentally, but shortly after, they are attacked by wild animals and Kylo throws himself between the beasts and Hux, telling Hux to stay behind him. Hux does him one better – he flees. That's where this story begins. The comic went elsewhere.
> 
> Now available in Russian: https://ficbook.net/readfic/8834743

Hux crouched in the undergrowth, having taken the best cover he could. His blaster was in his hand as he looked back at where Ren stood in front of the beast that had threatened them. Hux had missed whatever it was Kylo had done to stop the creature, but it had been collapsing to the ground about the time Hux had stopped running. Maybe the running had been an overreaction, but it was a really fearsome monster.

"Hux," Ren called out, "I don't know how far your coward legs have taken you, but you can come-"

Ren's words were cut off as the thick vegetation to Ren's left parted and a second, then a third, creature leaped out upon him, bowling him over. They were pack hunters. Ren made an undignified noise as he clambered back to his feet, the lit light saber held off to the side as though he were reluctant to bring it to bear. Instead, he extended his free hand at one of the beasts, which snarled in place but didn't otherwise move. The other one, not inconvenienced by whatever Force power Ren was using, smacked the knight across the head with a massive paw.

There was a loud thock like a hammer striking wood. Ren's helmet flew so far that it ended up bouncing to a rest in front of Hux's hiding spot. His eyes widened and he looked back to Ren. Surprisingly, the man's head was still attached to his body. Regardless, he toppled to the ground.

Hux's breath left him in a rush. This was bad. Very bad. He needed Ren _alive_! How else would they get off this rock? Ren could send a telepathic message if all else failed! Plus keep Hux alive, although apparently Hux's expectations of his skill at that were overblown. The two monsters sparred briefly over Ren's corpse, growling and showing one another their formidable tusk-fangs.

Hux sighed and lined up his blaster. It was possible Ren was still alive. If so, he wouldn't just stand by and let them finish him. He aimed carefully, then gave a barking yell as the dominant one reached for Ren. "Hey!"

Its head snapped up. They both looked directly at him. Hux aimed and squeezed the trigger. These were massive animals. Even though Hux's blaster was top of the line, it was only designed to puncture two to three hands-width of flesh. More than that and you risked blowing through your target and hitting unintended objects or people. But that meant creatures above a certain size or equipped with exceptionally thick hides, couldn't be easily killed with a blaster.

He'd exposed himself to maximize the chance of hitting an eye. It worked. The thing gurgled and fell over backwards, neatly dead in a single shot. The other one could have charged and most likely taken Hux out, but it was stupid. Or maybe, it was smart. It assessed the situation and the unknowns, as well as its two dead companions, and decided to run. But first it snatched up their prey, Ren, so it wasn't going back empty-handed.

"Kriff!" Hux gasped out, jerking himself to his feet. His head throbbed and fresh blood obscured his sight in his right eye. He shot wildly at the thing, missing entirely as it turned and leaped away. He set himself and fired more carefully, knowing it was a lost cause already. The thing had probably chomped Ren in two already, sinking in those huge fang teeth. Hux fired anyway. He was sure he hit it in the posterior, also sure that didn't kill it or even slow it down. It made a muffled sound of pain for the first shot. For the second and third, it yelped loud and clear. After that, it was lost in the undergrowth. Gone. And taken Ren's corpse with it.

"Kriff," he muttered. With a scowl, Hux picked up Ren's helmet and whapped it sharply against his thigh. There was nothing for it. He didn't mourn Ren, but he wanted very badly to grieve the loss of his best chance of getting off this rock. Or even surviving until tomorrow. He stank of blood and the place was littered with the remains of their pilot. As well as, now, two beast corpses. He walked closer to them and put a blaster bolt into the brain of the one Ren had dropped just in case whatever Force effect had been used had only stunned it.

Ren's lightsaber lay on the ground. He must have dropped it when he was hit. Hux picked it up as well, staggering a little as he stood. The world spun. He was still dizzy from the concussion. After a moment, he figured out how to clip the light saber to his belt. It might be useful. Somehow. Speaking of useful, he needed to make _himself _useful and figure out how to survive. First thing was to get away from this abattoir.

He went back to the crash site, only steps away, and gave it a quick search for anything he might be able to use to survive the next day cycle. That was all he focused on – how to make it just one cycle. There wasn't much of use. He did manage to find one of the survival packs, but he couldn't extract it. It was pinned in the compartment. He used his knife to open the end and pulled out what he could – enough food, not enough water but at least some, a few bandages, a thermal blanket, a portable heat source. There were other items he didn't know how to use, so he left them.

While he was at the site, he made a quick survey of the wreck for any potential of communications. Absolutely nothing was working. Few things were in one piece. With enough time, he supposed he could reassemble something, but that was a problem for tomorrow. He kept his priority centered on making it a single day. Speaking of which, he'd lingered too long already.

He stuffed everything in Ren's helmet, then wrapped it in the thermal blanket and carried like a bag. He retreated from the site and headed off in the opposite direction from where the monsters had come, and where they had fled to. He kept the blaster in one hand at first, but eventually had to holster it so he could swap the wadded blanket from hand to hand. His body ached from the crash and he wasn't strong enough to just carry it awkwardly in his off-hand the entire way. Another thing Ren would have been good for – grunt work.

He happened upon a clearing just as he was beginning to think he was probably far enough away. There was nothing in it but waist-high grass for a long stretch to a rise of ground and more trees, but it was a very different biome than the lush, fungus-filled, flowered jungle he'd been slogging through with increasing difficulty and disorientation. Different did not strike him as good. Some primitive instinct told him this was dangerous. Since he had nothing else to go off and no woodlore to guide him, he decided to stop here.

The day was closing in any event. Despite how much he wanted to collapse to the ground and move no more, he forced himself to keep going. He wasn't safe yet. He probably never would be. Well – he never had been, either, so it wasn't that big a change.

He dropped his bag and leaned out from under the trees to look skyward. He didn't see a moon. He remembered seeing one out the viewport of the shuttle, but that didn't tell him much about its orbital path or albedo. The bright orange sky was fading to darker red. He experimented briefly with Ren's helmet, but if it granted night vision, it didn't matter. It still had power, but he couldn't figure out how to activate it. He set it aside as another problem for tomorrow because he needed a fire tonight. Or so he assumed.

There had been campfires in most of the holodramas he'd seen that including anything wilderness-related. He didn't recall any reason being given in the shows for the building of a fire. Maybe the smoke would cover the smell of blood and deter animals? Most animals fled fire, right? Flies and gnats had found the blood matted into his hair. They were annoying and he batted at them constantly as he tried to gather something to burn – another thing Ren's helmet would have been good for had he been able to see out of it.

His first attempt was just a pile of vegetation on a scraped-clean bit of ground. Even with the light saber, nothing caught fire. It just smoked and seared and vanished as he held the sputtering blade against the leaves and spongy stalks. Everything was wet and green. That was the problem. It was getting dark, rapidly, and although he had recovered a heat source from the survival kit, it didn't shed much light. He hurried down the edge of the clearing, looking for options, when he spied a fallen log.

Something dead! It was covered with woody shelves of fungus, also dead and dry from exposure to the sun. He was in luck. He scooped up armloads of the fungus shelves and then returned to use the light saber to cut some sections of the log they had grown from. It was pithy and fairly light for its size. He had no idea how much he would need to see him through the night (nor how long nights were on this planet). He hoped it was enough, though he recognized he wasn't thinking too clearly.

This time, the light saber started the stuff on fire. The mushrooms burned with a sweet, warm, faintly spicy aroma like cinnamon. It was surprisingly pleasant, not even irritating the back of his throat like most smoke did. It drove away the bugs, giving him some much-desired respite. He could finally relax. He could finally see to himself and his other needs. With the bandages and a bit of water, he cleaned the blood from his face as much as he could without a mirror.

He began to feel very good. Or rather, he was feeling _better_. Maybe it was just the rest, but it felt like more than that. He felt warm and tingly, like he was aroused. His heart was beating faster. His breathing was heavier. All his senses felt enhanced. He rubbed idly at himself. He was out in the woods all alone, after all. It wasn't really appropriate to the situation, though, no matter how good it felt. He tried to puzzle over it with foggy thoughts.

Maybe it was the smoke. It smelled … interesting. It occurred to him belatedly that he might be high. No, he _must_ be high. The stuff had to be psychoactive. As though summoned by this realization, a full-bodied hallucination strode out of the forest to stop on the other side of the small fire. It was Ren.

"You left me for dead!" Ren accused him.

Hux snorted. This was what his imagination had decided to plague him with? He supposed it was better than Brendol. "I did not!"

"You ran!"

"I made a tactical retreat to a position of cover! Besides, if you can't fend off a few wild animals, then you aren't much of an asset to the Order. No one cares if you die, either."

"Snoke would know, just as if I did something to you."

"For that to be a valid threat, Snoke would have to _find_ me. Without you, I'm going to die on this rock alone and unnoticed."

Ren blinked at him. His voice was less certain as he said, "Then you should have done more than retreat."

"I did!" Hux gestured emphatically in his frustration at the world. It was far more expressive than he normally was, but he was allowed. Besides, he was just talking to himself here, so what did it matter? He supposed he really ought to get out of the smoke. He stepped to the side, closer to Ren. He wasn't scared of him. He never had been. Especially not when he wasn't even real. "I killed the one who knocked you down and shot the other in the hind end as it ran away with you!"

Ren's brow furrowed. "You did?"

Hux snorted. "Do you think I'm lying? Here, now, to myself?" He laughed. "What was I supposed to do? Bend the laws of physics and make the universe reshape itself to my whims? I did what I could!" He leaned close, getting in Ren's face. He could feel the man's breath, his warmth. That was odd and it gave him other ideas. His blood was still pumping hot inside of him. His half-hard erection hadn't faded despite the bickering.

Hux touched Ren's chest with a gesture that was half-intended to pass through the man. But it didn't. Ren appeared in every way to be physical, a corporeal form, who looked puzzled at the contact. Hux said, "Well, I suppose if I can see and hear you, then touch would be the same. It's just another sense. You're not a holoprojection."

"Why would you- What?"

"Yes," Hux said. "Why would I for any of this? This argument is tedious. What happened, happened and I don't feel guilty about it. It's suboptimal, that's all. But don't go. I might have a use for you, yet." He touched over Ren's chest in a free and uninhibited fashion. He could do whatever he wanted. It was his fantasy, after all. He curled his fingers into the fabric and pulled Ren to him, locking his lips over the knight's and kissing him solidly.

"Nnng!"

Hux withdrew long enough to say, "Shush, and fuck me. It might be the last night I'll be alive. I might as well, if I'm this far gone."

Ren stared at him, slack-jawed. Then he blinked a few times, reached up to cup Hux's cheek, and leaned in to kiss him again. They kissed. They made out. They went to the ground, lying on the soft earth next to the fragrant aroma of the fire. They rutted against one another. Pants were undone and hands thrust inside. He had the most mind-blowing orgasm Hux had ever had in his life. These mushrooms were incredible. If alien monsters ate him in the morning, then at least he'd die satisfied.

They curled into one another's arms with the thermal blanket loosely pulled over themselves, and fell asleep. The night passed. The fire died. They did not. They both sobered up. Hux woke with a crushing headache. He'd had a concussion the day before, he had no caf, and then there was whatever lingering side effects there were from the smoke.

The smoke. He gazed forward at the long-dead ashes of the fire. The smoke was gone. The strange tingling was gone. But wrapped around his waist with a big hand possessively over Hux's groin, was the arm of Kylo Ren, presently spooned against his body. With a jerk, Hux pivoted in place.

Ren stirred, waking and pulling back until there was most of an arm's length between them.

"You're real," Hux whispered in growing horror. He remembered the change in tenor of the beast's yelping, from muffled to clear. It must have dropped Ren after the first hit – dropped him out in the underbrush where Hux hadn't bothered to look. No wonder Ren had been a bit pissy when he finally tracked Hux down.

"Yeah?"

"Oh." The pit of Hux's stomach turned into a yawning void as the events of the previous night paraded through his head. He remembered them perfectly well. The pounding in his brain had done nothing to blur the memory. He wasn't sure whether to be ashamed, proud, or something else. But … he'd done that. _They'd_ done that. They might not have had the intercourse he'd invited, but they'd definitely debauched themselves.

After a long pause, Ren said, "What did you think I was?"

"Dead."

"Dead?" Ren looked at one of his hands in confusion as though wondering how Hux could think that.

Hux bared his teeth and said angrily, "I was high on alien spice, Ren!" Or psychedelic fungus. Whatever. He hurried to his feet, disgusted to find he'd never even closed his fly. He did so now.

"Did I …" Ren's expression showed trepidation, likely as he realized Hux's consent had been dubious at best and a Force user ought to have known that. Maybe he'd been too eager to look too closely at it. Hux's too perfect memory of the night reminded him that he'd certainly been enthusiastic. Both of them had been. "Um, okay." Ren shifted to embarrassed. _He ought to!, _Hux thought. Ren held up his hand. His helmet zoomed through the air and into it.

"Yes, put that on!" Hux barked in alarm as the enormity of what they'd done began to sink in. He was going to have to work with Ren every day knowing this had happened between them. "I don't even want to look at you!" He knew how Ren sounded when he came. He'd seen the pained look on his face. He'd tasted him …!

Ren got to his feet, his expression shifting to a glower. He might have had something to say, but they both fell silent at the distant whine of engines approaching them. Ren put the helmet on and called his light saber to him just as he had his helmet.

"Fix your clothing!" Hux hissed to him as he strode past, shoulder-checking Ren on the way. Ren, also, still had his pants unfastened, his dick practically hanging out.

Hux brushed at himself. He was covered with dirt and blood and reeked of sex and smoky cinnamon. But he carried himself like a general as he walked into the clearing and looked up. It was a First Order shuttle. He wondered how they'd known – Snoke? Kylo's tracker? Some distress signal before they'd crashed? Some functioning component after the crash? Had he activated some alarm by trying to use Ren's helmet? He didn't know. He didn't care. He just wanted off this rock.

Ren walked up to stand next to him. His clothing was in order now. Hux snapped at him, "Nothing happened!"

Ren said, "What happened, happened. It's suboptimal, that's all." With the vocoder on his helmet, it was impossible to tell his tone, but of course Hux recognized the mocking of his words from the day before.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. It means … nothing."

The shuttle was settling onto its landing struts. They had only seconds of privacy left. All Hux could think so say was, "Fine." It was enough.


End file.
